In some caterpillar’s lives there is a moment when they go from stodgy, slow and land-locked to beautiful, delicate and airborne. Not all caterpillars enjoy this fate. Many stay on the ground and live a life of leaf-eating. Caterpillars (from p.o.v.’s of the one’s I consulted for this post) are relatively clueless, unenlightened creatures – rarely contemplating the meaning of their existence and more consumed with basics, like day-to-day survival… but still some of them transform into glorious creatures, almost overnight.
Human beings, though being far more enlightened, often fall into the same fate of living life day-to-day and never contemplating what a different existence could be like. The beauty of the human mind is our ability to imagine, it’s great shame is our proclivity to forget by becoming distracted by the day-to-dayness of life.
We have the distinct capability to envision the person we want to becoe, the life we want to lead and the things we want to do – without having experienced them directly. You may never have so much sunk your toes into a sandy beach, but you can know from reading and television that you one day want to visit Bermuda. An ugly duckling child may wear ratty clothes and grow up poor, but still know that one day she wants to be a super model and enjoy the finer things in life.
Children versus adults.
Most children have big dreams of the future, few adults do. When a child says they want to become a fairy princess when they grow up, they are lauded. When an adult dares to suggest they want to do something that is far outside their class, upbringing or socioeconomic status they are met with sarcastic smiles and hostile attitudes.
Yet, even the most jaded adult among us is impressed when people break the mold and go from dingy bar singer to multi-platinum superstar (Lady Gaga) or college drop-out billionaire (Mark Zuckerberg).
The big question is how do people get from their dreams, to reality.
Choose your vision.
I know the person I want to be in 4 years. I have her stenciled in my mind and could draw her out in detail ... if only I could draw. I know what she looks like, where she travels, what her job is and how the world sees her. I think about her most nights before I go to bed and write extensively on this person – on the backs of napkins, on coasters – whenever I uncover another aspect of her persona.
Envisioning your future is the first step towards achieving it. Napoleon Bonaparte sketched out hundreds of strategic plays an invading army could make when conquering an area before he saw his first battle.
Lady Gaga said she knew she would be famous years before she was a success, even after being dropped by her label and suffering multiple personal setbacks. She just had it in her mind that she would become a superstar, and she knew what that person looked like.
Your ideal persona doesn’t have to be world-famous. He could be a happily married father or a successful attorney with a corner office, but for me – I’ve never been able to muster passion for anything that wasn’t borderline impossible. Grandiose, unimaginable goals have always been my favorite indulgence.
Choose your features.
Features are mostly physical expressions of your butterfly, i.e. the ideal persona you want to embody. If you want to become a world-renown scientist maybe one of your features is a bow-tie or crazy hair because it reminds you of one, Albert Einstein. One of Steve Job’s features was his wardrobe of blue jeans and black turtlenecks.
I have found it beneficial to write down a list of “features” my best self encompasses including red nails (got mine done for the first time in ages last week), dark hair (dyed my blonde to dark brown to my hairdresser’s dismay) and a particular attitude. These small changes help me feel more like the persona I want to someday embody and will become more pronounced with time. They say to “dress for success”, I think this works when becoming your ideal self as well.
One way or another, sketch in your mind the person you want to be a year from now and ten years from now. Take the first steps to becoming that person, no matter what situation you are in now. If you can’t afford a new coat learn to sow and make your old one look a little bit nicer. That’s the first step to enjoying a completely new wardrobe. If you can’t go to Bermuda yet, at least go lay out in the sun and imagine what it will be like to vacation in a villa one day.
Choose your inspirations.
It’s good to have anchors to set your sights on. Maybe it’s your popular neighbor, or a famous comedian. When you choose an inspiration or two, study them, spend time researching exactly how they became who they are today.
I have maybe 3 people who I study closely and pattern my moves after. If you want to become a chess great it’s helpful to study Bobby Fisher’s strategies. If you want to become a brilliant investor, read everything you can on Warren Buffett’s philosophies. These inspirations don’t have to be in the same space as you, they just have to encompass certain personality traits that your future persona aspires to.
Action step: grab a little notebook and keep it with you at all times, write down any trait, feature or idea that you experience that you want your ideal persona to embody.
